Memories!

Age 4: Refusing to go out with my parents when they went to a friend's party / wedding, preferring instead to stay at home with my paternal grandmother. She sitting on the bed crocheting beautiful pieces that were later used to cover the telephone or as a table mat. Me sitting next to her in a make-believe airplane that was taking us to America. Me asking her if she would like to eat something on the flight - assuring her that she could get anything she liked, I only had to tell the "air-hostess". Hours spent enjoyably playing this way!

Age 5: My first ever friend - my next-door neighbour's granddaughter, one year younger than me. Playing kiddie games with her throughout the summer vacation and being very sad when the hols ended.

Age 6: Being petrified of playing with colours on Holi! Pressure building up inside of me one whole week in advance of Rang Panchami, evidenced by me rushing home from school, peering at roof tops with eagle eyes for the water-balloon throwing "monsters". Getting all teary eyed when my younger brother used to threaten to throw colour on me and complaining to my parents about it. Being on my toes all through the actual day of Rang Panchami ready to rush into the bathroom and lock myself in lest my friends decide to invade my home looking for me!! This continued right till when I was 14 years old.

Age 7: Staying awake alongwith my mom waiting for my dad to get back home from work; my parents are my strengths, my mom for all the unconditional love she has heaped on us, without ever complaining about the rigours we subjected her to and my dad for adoring us all throughout, and providing us with everything we ever wished for, many times depriving himself as well.

Age 8: Going to a neighbour's house and being fascinated with the complete set of the hard-bound "Hardy Boys" series. Borrowing those books one at a time and surprising my neighbour with the speed with which I'd finish one and return to take another. Visiting my my maternal grandparents in Mangalore; the thrill that I felt when I saw the huge house surrounded by so many different kinds of trees (coconut, papaya, mango, guava etc.), the fun that we had with my uncles and cousins; visiting so many other relatives and realizing what a big family we were a part of!

Age 9: Taking part in a drawing and painting competition with more than 200 kids taking part; going there escorted by my mama. Insisting on staying back after finishing my sketch and telling my skeptical mama that I would win a prize. And actually winning the second prize there!

Age 11: Feeling devastated about moving house, we moved from Khar to Borivli, then a impossible distance away as seen by my preteen eyes. Crying my heart out at being separated from my much loved school, all my dearest friends and a general feeling of sorrow of losing something really important to me.

Age 13: My first ever crush developed at the tuition classes I used to attend during my 8th class. Blushing in her presence without ever actually speaking a single word all the time. Being teased mercilessly by my friends then even though I had never even said anything about her to them.

Age 16: Walking to junior college on the first day with a group of 16 friends, and still feeling scared about being ragged!

Age 18: Making friends at graduate college that were to remain so life-long wherever they may be. Falling for someone for the first time ever and not ever having the courage to come out with it; though it was so evident to everyone else. :)

Ages 19 & 20: Bunking classes, hanging out in the college campus instead having discussions / debates on almost all the topics under the Sun with the wisdom of a Socrates. Having fights among friends that seemed so important then and seem so trivial now.

Age 21: Graduating with promises of being friends forever; getting into B-school! Yipee!!! Once again making new friends, friends that to this day give me reason to be thankful.

Age 22: Losing my paternal grandmother, she left a void in my life, never to be filled again and that remains to this day. Crying like a baby that time and developing a fever from that.

Ages 23 & 24: Getting my first job!!! Working late nights with the joy that only comes from earning your salary for the first time ever! Losing myself in it and still being happy. Knowing that the one I'd fallen for had found someone special and breaking my heart over it. And still managing to feel happy for her.

Age 26: Watching my dad talk about his son to his friends and hear the note of pride in his voice as well as see the glow on his face. Feeling a tug at my heartstrings and promising myself to give him more opportunity to feel that way!

Age 27: Realizing what S meant to me and acting on it quickly, before the opportunity was lost! Being gratified to know that S felt the same way too!

Age 28: Getting married to S, the happiest day of my life! Though the actual ceremony did drag on for long! The honeymoon that followed, one of the most idyllic times ever! How she is so different from me and yet we manage to complement each other; how she completes me and makes my life better in all aspects.

Age 29: My younger brother B, developing into a mature professional (is it really him?????)who'd already made a name for himself in his organization, with the promise that he was in for an extremely bright future! This kind of, completed the picture.

I don't know why I've listed all these down.... but I know reading through these does leave me with a hint of nostalgia for lost, long ago times, places and people as well as joy and happiness for all the things that I've gained at the same time.

Am sure every person has a list of such formative memories that make up their individual signature and also builds up the collage that is called life. How often do we stop and think about them? How much do they matter to us today? No, am not asking questions to anyone here. Just wondering - for that is all one can do.